"An Economic Appraisal of Motivation in the Workforce and the Perceived Attainability of Goals"
By Harvard Economist, D. Punk, PhD/MBA
Abstract
It is no secret that the worker of today faces a dire issue: thanks in no small part to the workplace technological revolution, which enabled individuals to work more than ever (hours after work was over!), and additional pressures from the rise of outsourcing and the global economy, the modern employee is caught in a conflict of greater output for diminishing reward. When overseas competition is so cheap, the domestic worker must respond with increased efficiency! Organizations today are demanding that their workforce work harder, do it better, and produce better quality products that are stronger in the global market. And yet, even with these increases in efficiency, the expected workload has increased exponentially to match these new capabilities- leaving the average worker to feel, perhaps, as though his work is never over.
(Editorial followup: A response to the full article, published some five years later by Pulitzer-Prize winning economist K. West, has a slightly different take on the phenomenon, while relying on the same sources.)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Chamillionaire- Ridin' Dirty
"On the Correlation of Police Observation Habits to Success Rates in Narcotics Trafficking Arrests"
By Professor H.S. Chaimillionaire, assisted by Krayzie Bone PhD
Abstract
Although a casual glance at arrest rate statistics, as well as common sense, might dictate that the world's law enforcement forces would enjoy greater success at apprehending narcotics trafficking agents by increasing surveillance and police activity, emerging sociological studies are beginning to suggest that this may not be the case. Whereas before an observer would think that close inspection of driving habits and heightened patrols would lead to the arrest of individuals such as myself who are conveying substances in their vehicles, such aspirations of apprehending me now seem like simply that- attempts and hope. My cohorts and I have learned of several new factors to impede law enforcement's effectiveness- for instance, tinted windows obscure sightlines into the car; meanwhile, the purchase of several luxurious accessories for my vehicle such as video gaming systems, high-definition televisions, and compact disc changers serve to intimidate, distract, and confuse personnel that might otherwise be successful.
By Professor H.S. Chaimillionaire, assisted by Krayzie Bone PhD
Abstract
Although a casual glance at arrest rate statistics, as well as common sense, might dictate that the world's law enforcement forces would enjoy greater success at apprehending narcotics trafficking agents by increasing surveillance and police activity, emerging sociological studies are beginning to suggest that this may not be the case. Whereas before an observer would think that close inspection of driving habits and heightened patrols would lead to the arrest of individuals such as myself who are conveying substances in their vehicles, such aspirations of apprehending me now seem like simply that- attempts and hope. My cohorts and I have learned of several new factors to impede law enforcement's effectiveness- for instance, tinted windows obscure sightlines into the car; meanwhile, the purchase of several luxurious accessories for my vehicle such as video gaming systems, high-definition televisions, and compact disc changers serve to intimidate, distract, and confuse personnel that might otherwise be successful.
The Mission of Double Spaced Lyrics
Hi everybody, and welcome to Double Spaced Lyrics. This is a new blog I've started to give an outlet to one of the more stupid and annoying habits I have, one that occurs constantly in my head and needs (?) to be shared with the world.
I am referring, of course, to paraphrasing the lyrics of songs into more complex language that can either make what they have to say sound even more compelling, or conversely highlight how stupid they are.
Sounds dumb? Well, it should, because it is. But if you've ever stopped to think about it- sure, Destiny's Child sounds pretty great when they sing "No no no no no, hear you say yeah yeah yeah", but they haven't said anything of substance. Sometimes it's hilarious to think of what this would sound like if somebody just said it conversationally to you. Imagine your friend Fred walking up, and saying in a friendly tone, "Hey, man, how is it going? You know, recently I acted like a chump- hey! I know, right? But I did it all for the nookie." Or just imagine any Old Dirty Bastard rhyme being read by the guy who does voiceovers for all movie trailers: "This summer- in a world where your pussy don't interrupt- ONE MAN- will have a little problem with you NOT fucking him." Makes you think a little differently about the song...
To this end, what I will be doing in this blog is rewriting song lyrics as though they were academic papers. For most tunes I will just be doing the opening paragraph, as though they were thesis papers. For others I might go a bit more in-depth.
If you have any submissions, feel free to send them in!
I am referring, of course, to paraphrasing the lyrics of songs into more complex language that can either make what they have to say sound even more compelling, or conversely highlight how stupid they are.
Sounds dumb? Well, it should, because it is. But if you've ever stopped to think about it- sure, Destiny's Child sounds pretty great when they sing "No no no no no, hear you say yeah yeah yeah", but they haven't said anything of substance. Sometimes it's hilarious to think of what this would sound like if somebody just said it conversationally to you. Imagine your friend Fred walking up, and saying in a friendly tone, "Hey, man, how is it going? You know, recently I acted like a chump- hey! I know, right? But I did it all for the nookie." Or just imagine any Old Dirty Bastard rhyme being read by the guy who does voiceovers for all movie trailers: "This summer- in a world where your pussy don't interrupt- ONE MAN- will have a little problem with you NOT fucking him." Makes you think a little differently about the song...
To this end, what I will be doing in this blog is rewriting song lyrics as though they were academic papers. For most tunes I will just be doing the opening paragraph, as though they were thesis papers. For others I might go a bit more in-depth.
If you have any submissions, feel free to send them in!
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